The Four Stages of My Life (and Maybe Yours, Too)

Saturday night, I went to a retirement party for a nurse I used to work with. This was the fourth retirement party I had been to this year, including my own. As I pondered it, I realized that I have had four stages of adulthood involving parties or celebrations.

  • Stage One Bridal showers, Weddings and Baby Showers

Brother Ron officiating  cake Big bear and Mike

This stage took place somewhere between 20 to 30 years of age. During that time, friends were getting married and having babies and not necessarily in that order. Money was spent of gifts for the occasions. Many parties and receptions took place during that time.

  • Stage TwoKids’ Birthday Parties, School Events and Sports

Joe's Ghostbuster birthday   Basketball cake (2) Joe's Star Wars birthday

Baby showers and weddings continued but were fewer. Now, kids’ parties and events took over. Big birthday parties, theme parties, destination parties–each set of parents trying to outdo the other. It was a crazy, expensive time. (If you have read my blog before, you may know that almost ALL of our birthdays happen in March and April. That time of year was harder on the checkbook than Christmas as we celebrated a birthday about every two weeks in our family.)

Then there were the classroom parties–Halloween, Valentine’s Day, etc. I was a room mother, so it was my job to make sure we had games to play and treats to eat. We room mothers were very creative with our games. (I may do a blog on party games sometime. I even had a game published in Family Fun magazine that we played at one of my son’s birthday parties.)

And there were soccer games, football games, baseball games, all with end-of-season parties (and don’t forget the gifts for the coaches. Someone had to collect the money and buy the gifts.)

  • Stage ThreeTeenaged angst followed by…Parties!

We experienced a short “dry spell” during the early teen years because, who wants to have a party at your house with your parents there?

Around junior prom time, things picked up. These were the “photo op” years. Homecoming, class plays, concerts, marching band competitions, Honors Night, Graduation.

More picsTrumpets rock!cakeOP canopy

  • Stage 4 – Reunions, Retirement and Funerals

IMG_2996 (2) NICU reunion

Just prior to this stage, there is a “mini” stage where the weddings and baby showers return as our adult children get married and have children of their own. The parties and events aren’t as plentiful, but they pop up now and then. I always look forward to them as it gives me a “break” from going to funerals!

During this stage, our parents are dying, our friends’ parents are dying and, unfortunately, some of our friends are dying. We are going to a lot of funerals. It is nice to be invited to a wedding or baby shower now and then just to get away from the funerals. More on funerals later…

We also are going to retirement parties as our friends and co-workers leave the workplace and start  new adventures. These parties don’t necessarily require a lot of gifts and hoopla because most of us have all the “stuff” we need and don’t want any more. We also find it enjoyable just to sit and talk, so no band or DJ is needed. Milestone anniversary parties may include some music and dancing, but most gatherings at this stage are simply good friends gathering to catch up and talk.

Now, for funerals. I think we do funerals all wrong in our society. All that weeping and sadness is crazy! If we believe in an afterlife, then a funeral should be a time of rejoicing because “it ain’t over!” And it never will be! We may not see each other in person for awhile, but the time will come when we meet again. So, instead of being sad, we should party! I have instructed my family and close friends that, when I head for the Great Beyond, I want a good old-fashioned Irish wake. I want people to gather, tell funny stories about me (believe me, I have left them plenty of fodder!), drink to my life and celebrate. I don’t want any crying at my funeral unless it’s from having a hangover.

Polly opening her gifts Susan and John May 2013

Happy “Stage Whatever!”

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3 thoughts on “The Four Stages of My Life (and Maybe Yours, Too)

  1. I’m kind of in a limbo stage where we don’t have much of anything, and I’m mighty glad for it. I’ll bring some Jameson to your wake and have a hair of the dog the next day, too. (And I’ll tell the story you told me about how you’d never screamed, but then when there was a bat in the house, you heard yourself screaming and didn’t even realize it was you!) Sue’s out of body experience.

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